Crash and Burn

Crashing and burning... that's how I feel this quarter has gone. Like to an airplane that has lost control and is nose-diving, I'm flaming out, academically. Ever since Rho Chi initiation, I seemed to have lost any motivation to study. Yet, I still retain my pride and desire for good results. That turns out to be a bad combination: I don't want to study, but I still want to do well. It's like in the movies where the plane bumps, skids, jolts to a screeching halt,  every midterm is a bump, skid, jolt. Every single one worse than the previous one... trying desperately to reach to the end of this ordeal.

Just got punched in the gut by my stats final. Stats- the supposed easy final of this week. I probably deserved it, since I was relying on the 3 pages of notes we could have during the test. To make it worse, I didn't even write out the 3 pages of notes, and used someone else's. Oh boy, the next 48 hours is going to be long, uphill climb.

I don't remember first-year being like this. I remember being excited for those multiple-choice conjoint tests, having full confidence that I would ace them. How the tables have turned... Am I getting dumber, or are the tests getting smarter?

I don't know how to study anymore. I have a headache just staring at my notes, especially pceut notes (bane of my life at the moment). My mind is sluggish. The words I read don't stick at all. I can't focus. Sad truth is, I'm maybe less prepared for these finals than I have ever been for tests, and am relying/praying/wishing on some luck to get through them.